Spare Key Shennanigans

9.21 pm

You know you're part of the family when the sister calls you and says, "We locked our keys in the house" and you spend the next two hours helping said sister retrieve spare key from her brother's (your boyfriend's) apartment. Even better that when you called him to ensure that he did, in fact, have said spare key (because the last time he had his sister's keys, he made a copy of the car key but not the house key) he had you on the cell phone on one ear and his sister on the work line on the other ear. The only way in which it could have been better is if he'd been on the line as well.

9.26 pm

I met up with Sheila Friday night for happy hour. It's almost time for summer jazz to start again. I miss our picnics, with fresh berries and home made whipped cream and a cold bottle of rosé. And since it is increasingly looking like I will be in the States this summer, instead of some exotic third world country like Cambodia or Thailand, she and I will be able to go.

Lessons learned from my summer job search:

1) You can't really wait until December, like they say to. Instead, you should spend November researching and writing cover letters, so that your job apps are ready to go out Dec. 1.

2) Networking matters. A lot. Better to start by getting to know professors, other students who interned in the place(s) you want to work and asking for names, emails, and advice.

3) See point two, supra.

9.44 pm

Spring is coming, summer nipping at its heels. I can hardly stand to wait for it.

driving back from walking the dog, tired from a day of doing nothing but homework, ruminating on the possibiity of disapearing into the night

9.39 pm

I love highways at night. Sinuous ribbons of light and motion. The possibility of driving, eastward, into darkness so deep it becomes sunrise. I took the long way home tonight, so that I could pass by the lake and its hanging fairy lights. It's not beautiful in itself, really. There's too much concrete and broken glass and city grit for that. The attempt to make the heart of the city less sterile is what matters.

I dreamed of T-- last night. Like my own private ghost, hovering round the edges of my consciousness. He was a teenager in this one, or maybe even my own age, but he looked at me with those little boy eyes. It bothers me sometimes, that he still invades my nights. Then I realize how lonely I'd be if he left, and I forgive him all over again.

They say the desert is beautiful because it hides a well.

The Dog Trainer Again

3.04 pm

Lately, I start out every week feeling as though I'm drowning. This one was worse than most. What should have been an easy day of writing a brief turned into an 8 hour marathon at the ER. "Hurry up and wait" was the dominant theme of the day.

It's not that I'm anal-retentive. Really. It's just that I have so little time that I organize very carefully so as to fit everything in. A girlfriend and I were joking about "penciling in" boyfriend time, but there are days when it really feels as though that's the way it works.

J__ says its good for me to learn to let go. Me, I think that all could be solved if I had more hands.

You can take the girl out of the restaurant...

2.55pm

It's gorgeous outside. Why am I sitting outside the law school blogging instead of heading down to the marina and getting on a boat?

As I was walking to Zeb with a friend, a woman stopped us and asked where the restroom was. My friend told her it was "that way" and made a vague pointing gesture. I told her to follow me and started walking.

"Is this like at Safeway, where they lead you to the vegetables?" she asked.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm really bad at directions. Besides, I'm used to working in a restaurant where we lead people to the bathrooms."

Even after a semester and a bit at law school, I still identify myself as "industry".

Letter to Knightly

3.17 pm

It's not that I want to live in Florida again. Really. I don't even like the state. Sinkholes and swamps are the dominant geographical features, fire ants and crocodiles the dominant life forms, and hurricanes the dominant weather pattern. Still, every time I go back I have this strange feeling, as if I'm coming home.

My aunt died at 4am Tuesday morning, Eastern Standard Time, in a hospice in Jacksonville, Florida. We knew she was sick, but we hadn't expected the end to come quite so quickly. My mother called me a few hours later and told me to buy a plane ticket. I stumbled out of bed and to the phone, then went through a whirlwind of a day trying to get everything ready.

We all flew into Jacksonville, then drove to Gainesville, where my mom and her sisters grew up, where their parents are buried. I got in just ahead of a violent thunderstorm, the same system that killed 56 people earlier this week. It threatened and rumbled all night, but waited to break until Thursday, after we'd buried my aunt.

The cemetery she's in is an old Jewish Cemetery, with graves dating back to the 1800's and early 1900's. My mom takes us by every time we're in Florida. People place small stones on the headstones instead of flowers or teddy bears. My aunt's grave is not next to my grandparents' - the space next to them was unusable because of tree roots. The funeral home suggested digging the grave askew and placing the headstone parallel to the others.

3.34 pm

I flew out through Miami. I thought about calling you, but the layover was only two hours. Not long enough to get out and get back through security. Besides, some things are better left undone. I'm not writing, really, but I'm doing well in school. Although I've acquired the reputation of a gunner. You expected that, I think.

Do something for me, will you? The next time you see the wind blow through the palm trees, tucking their heads under their shoulders, think of me.